Leaving the meat behind me...

So begins the quest,

A number of things have brought me to the place where I am today. I have spent my life overweight, but have always been virtually "healthy" as far as my annual doctor visit shows. Normal blood pressure, blood sugar, good cholesterol and triglycerides have always been part of the report. For the past several years, I keep thinking that one day my luck is going to run out. My days of skirting the obesity side effects may start coming to a close as I begin to knock on the door of 40.... With this in mind, I am on a quest to change my lifestyle, bit-by-bit.

A few years ago, I bought a bottle of Honest Tea at the health food store. I twisted off the cap and read the message underneath. It went something like this: "If the voice inside your head tells you that you can't do it, by all means do it, and make that voice a liar." Since that moment, I have made it my mantra.  I have put fear behind me and have started on the path to a new life change. Since 2009, I started back to college and am in my junior year, in the bachelors program to become an Exceptional Student Education teacher. If all goes as scheduled, I will graduate one month before my 40th birthday! I have a list of things that I want to do before I turn 40, but I have pushed healthy changes to the top of the list.

A little background: April 2010, my father was diagnosed with non-operable liver cancer. A tumor had formed in the bile duct and was blocking the release of bile and within days my father became weak and jaundiced. The doctors put in a stint to bypass the tumor. He began to feel, and look, better. All too soon, I began to see a decline in his health. In a matter of three months he was gone. During that three months, I cared for him and stayed with him as much as possible. It was as tiring as it was rewarding. The precious moments that we spent together will be tucked into the recesses of my heart. While I was taking care of him, I forgot to take care of me. I was stopping at fast food places more often than not. Between work, school and taking care of Papa, I was "just getting by" emotionally and physically.  Fast, fattening food, sugary sodas and a couple of MnM's were like old friends keeping me company.

After my father went on to be with the Lord, in July of 2010, I weighed myself for the first time in a while. 312 lbs. I had always knocked on the door of 300, but never went inside. As soon as I got close, I would ring the doorbell and run. I have spent the last 10 years somewhere between 270 and 299. This was a personal best! A whopping 312 lbs. That's when I knew things were going to have to change. I began to modify my intake, embrace hunger and try to lower my sodium intake. After a while, I got myself out of the 300's but I am still close enough to be suckered back inside. So far, I have lost 24 pounds and I am hoping to take my weight loss journey to the next level. I'm not just going to "do" another diet. I am going to make healthy changes to my eating and reach my goal of weighing 145 pounds. Can I do it? Yes. I am going to make that "little voice" a liar.